Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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