I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
