i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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