grandma shit on top of the toilet
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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