One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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