can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I smell like Dick and happiness
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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