In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
