i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
