tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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