Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
