Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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