just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Randomize
