we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
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we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
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Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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