You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
