Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I cut my penus on the lid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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