Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
