so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
