You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
