All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize