You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
