Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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