sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize