I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
