i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
