I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
