You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Blow job season was short but glorious.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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