i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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