Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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