And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Randomize
