you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
