So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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