On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
