Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Randomize
