Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
