me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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