i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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