I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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