Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize