12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
