real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
