what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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