WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
