Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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