I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
