i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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