also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I just pynch a tree in the face
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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