We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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