your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
My friends, they love my intelligence
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
You can't motorboat a personality
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
