Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
3 2 1 whiskey
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
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