Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
