I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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