I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
