I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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