Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
