The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Randomize
