He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
