Girls should come with a carfax report
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
