I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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