I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
