the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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